gaudior | The Great Uke-Off of '07

So, as a person in a same-sex relationship, I've always been amused/appalled by the insistence of slash and yaoi writers that one person in such a relationship must be the top in bed, at all times. It doesn't make sense. I know a very few people in relationships where this is usually the case, but even then it always seems so much more flexible than the writers make it out to be.

So, in order to deconstruct the idea a bit (as well as because I thought it would be fun last night at about 3am*) I am proposing the Great Uke-Off. (This is inspired by the Anime Emo Awards, which were just awesome.) Basically: I'm going to list frequently-slashed couples in all manner of fandoms (anime, live-action, books, etc), and ask you, o gentle readers, to vote on which member of the couple tops. Then in the next round, I'm going to pair all the resulting tops with each other, and ask you to vote on which member of each new pair tops (and pair all the resulting bottoms, ditto). And so on and so forth, until we have the Ultimate Uke and the, um, Supreme Seme. Or something along those lines.

You're welcome to only do the ones you know, or the ones you could even vaguely conceivably see as this being conceivable. You are also welcome to explain your logic in the comments, or make suggestions as to other pairs, or such.

[Poll #1111934]

Rejected fandoms: Hunter x Hunter (they're too young, even though ~~Killua totally tops, and Gon totally love it~~), ANY HOBBITS OF ANY KIND, Rousseau x Diderot (too obvious), Kira x Lacus (she totally tops. But she's all a girl and stuff.), Battlestar Galactica (So much het! Though I would totally argue that Starbuck tops Apollo.)

~~I shall post the next round tomorrow (Friday) at noonish.~~ Voting is now closed. Go vote on today's!

* Okay, yes, I did have a fever. And still do. But I'm sure that has nothing whatsoever to do with it. Really.

Threaded | Flat

You know, when I read the subject, I assumed you were talking about ukelele music...

When I took Momiji to pick a mate, and we were discussing pairs, the foster mom was so funny. We were talking about gender-bonding and how we'd try a girl first (male/female bonds are traditionally easier) but that wouldn't rule out a boy because, "We're in Massachusetts, we're allowed to have same-sex couples."

And of course, what did I end up with? Two boys.

This is not *actually* relevent to your post, but I don't know any of the character pairings, and I didn't have a better place to put it to share the story with you. ... I think maybe it's time for me to get out and interact with someone who isn't a bunny....

I agree with you about the bizarreness of the uke-seme thing, so I am torn between voting for the one who seems the more dominant personality, or on my intuitive sense of who would enjoy doing what in bed.

For instance, some het women like being on top because they like the sense of power or control... but for others, being on top has everything to do with spatial relationships involved in hitting the clitoral sweet spot and nothing to do with personality. Hmmm!

I would suggest some other Gundam Wing pairs, but I think they might be either a)too obvious, or b)too much Gundam Wing.
I would also suggest Utena and Anthy, Saionji and Touga, from Utena, of course. And possibly some others there.
Fakir and Mytho, perhaps?
I woudl also add some video game pairs, if you're interested in including them. I'd add Sora and Riku (from Kingdom Hearts), Cloud and Sephiroth (FF7, duh), Braska and Auron (FF10), and Ashley and Sydney (Vagrant Story). Maybe not Ashley and Sydney, they're too obscure (*grumble grumble best game ever grumble grumble no one's fucking heard of it grumble grumble*), and maybe not Braska and Auron because they're not major enough, but the other two are clear contenders, particularly KH.
My brain also insists I remind you of Char and Amuro, though I disagree with it
My brain also points out that if Gon and Killua are too young, so are Harry and Draco. To which my response is, CLAMP School Detectives - Nokoru and Suoh. Oh, and Clover - Gingetsu and Ran. And Weiss! We can't forget Weiss.

...Jesus Christ, did I just list all of those pairs off the top of my head? Yes, I did. Someone shoot me, before I read more fanfiction.

I note first of all: Angel, not Angelus.

Second of all, I'm talking canon Harry and Draco, not fanon.

I just want to thank you for including due South in this. It's been far too long since I shared my due South obsession with anyone.

Starbuck tops EVERYONE and I'm sure she and Kat went at it a couple of times (in the new series, ahem). I have a small crush on her, but that doesn't bias my opinion in any way. Really.

How fun! And I'll admit I had to stop and think pretty hard about Crowley and Aziraphale and who did what.

I voted only on the fandoms I know (thus disqualifying 3/4 of the anime). However, I am totally confident that Gimli tops Legolas, Pippin tops Merry, and Sam tops Frodo. So there. ;p

Also, Byerly? Totally tops Ivan. Poor Ivan.

Hm. I only voted on the ones I knew. XD

In order to throw out the whole 'one top, one bottom' thing in my book, there is a time when Nathanael (seme up to this point) is very unsure of himself and needs comforting. He's also feeling very ashamed for how he had treated his lover, and asks him to show him what its like when they make love. So Tema tops, and Nathanael actually likes it when he needs comfort. So they have a relatively equal relationship at one point. :)

I just thought I'd share how I think relationships should be equal and all. :3

This is the perfect solution to The Topping Discussion.

There is an essay out there on human vs. superhuman physiology ("Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue Paper" as I recall) that explains why it should be impossible for Lois Lane to enjoy sex with Superman. I'd assume the same problems would apply with Clark/Lex, which makes me very uneasy indeed around the pairing. (The essay is a hoot but don't look it up if you're easily squicked by reproductive mechanics.)

Dude, where are the Hana Kimi and Ouran High School Host Club pairings?

Ayame tops Shigure because he'd have so much fun with it.
Harry and Draco are switches, but that wasn't an option, so I went with who was on top most of the time.
Azraphiale tops Crowley because that would be the more evil thing for an angel to do, in terms of the morals Azraphiale is living by.
Will tops Capn' Sparrow because Will smells better 99% of the time, and doesn't want Jack's boozy seaweed-encrusted hair dangling down around his nose. Or anywhere else.

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