Anti-bullying signal-boost.

[gaudior]

People have been talking about bullying lately. Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project has drawn attention to the suicides of gay teenagers, and has inspired the Make It Better Project, to give youth and concerned adults the tools they need to stop bullying in the schools. (I strongly recommend MIBP's Take Action page, which has such useful links as information about The Safe Schools Improvement Act (H.R. 2262/S. 3739) and how you can support it). And both homasse and seishonagon linked to an insightful and useful article by Kate Harding, On Good Kids and Total Assholes.

I'm glad people are talking about this so much-- it's making me think about my own childhood, and how much I accepted kids making fun of me, ostracizing me, and generally making me miserable as "just the way things are." That understanding of the universe and my place in it had long-lasting effects, and I am delighted and grateful that people now are talking seriously about how to stop bullying.

(I may at some point make a larger post, but at the moment, I wanted to signal-boost. Yay, signal-boosting.)

--R

Comments

[tiamat360.livejournal.com]

If I read you correctly it seems that you assume the patient should work all this out for him/herself based on concrete facts presented by a doctor with no regard to his/her feelings. Am I misrepresenting you?

That...isn't at all what I said. So, yes, you are misinterpreting me. I'm really not sure how you went from "inform the patient and encourage them to change" to "ignore the patient's feelings and don't help them at all." Furthermore, I would think that you know me well enough to know that that's not the kind of thing I'd advocate.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like how the media portrays overweight/obese people. But there's a big difference between telling someone "you're fat and ugly, because you can only be attractive if you're thin," and "you would feel better and be healthier if you lost weight" (notice there's nothing about appearance in the second example??). Certainly people are hypersensitized to this issue, both because it really is a huge problem in this country (70% overweight? 25+% obese??) and so it's difficult for anyone, doctors or otherwise, to discuss it with people.

BUT.

That doesn't mean that the "Fat Acceptance" movement is going about things the right way. Support for people who don't fit the perfect American image? Totally awesome. Help for people who are overweight/obese? Fantastic. Telling people that being fat is not unhealthy, and ridiculing people who are trying to lose weight? Um, not cool. Also, hurtful to people in the long run.

[gaudior.livejournal.com]

Support for people who don't fit the perfect American image? Totally awesome. Help for people who are overweight/obese? Fantastic. Telling people that being fat is not unhealthy, and ridiculing people who are trying to lose weight? Um, not cool. Also, hurtful to people in the long run.

This makes sense to me. (Assuming that you mean that "help" is both "help losing weight if they want to" and "help dealing with their other problems conscientiously and supportively if they say they're not interested in losing weight right now. But I do assume you mean that.)

[pastwatcher]

(I loaded this page onto my computer and read it on the train--frustrating not to be able to post my reply now it's written.)

I'm sorry for misunderstanding, and the rest of your comment makes a lot of sense. I certainly don't think you would advocate disregard of patients' feelings! But I do think there is a problem with the way doctors tend to disregard patients' feelings, and wanted to know how much you thought about that general problem. It is also true that the way in which other people's weight affects my life is primarily a problem of others' psychological state; whereas it affects yours primarily in terms of medical problems.

I think we are reacting to different aspects here, as you said to ashnistrike below. We're agreed on media; my perception of practicing doctors isn't as bad as some of the stories below, but the communications from my doctor are nothing like as good as those I get from my dentist (who is still trying to help my teeth deal with the effects of a mediocre orthodontist and an absent-minded me). In fact, perhaps due to being thin, I have /not/ been talked to by enough doctors about nutrition; while I have made my lifestyle significantly healthier over the last two years, I still haven't had anyone analyze my (easy to describe) diet and probably should--e.g. next time I see a doctor I should ask about milk, if only I remember to do so.

My perception of the fat acceptance movement, on the other hand, is that I've seen it do the things you said are "awesome/fantastic" and figured there were only a few nutcases who did the "not cool" bit. Apparently your experience is not at all concordant with mine, and that explains the different priorities.