I think the degree to which people are unhappy within their gender roles, whether they are conscious of it or not, depends largely on how far outside the mainstream (however you want to define that) they fall.

I agree with this. I think gender roles were constructed to work more-or-less well-enough for most people... otherwise, they wouldn't be so damn persistent. And so it's definitely the people for whom they don't fit that gender roles cause the most problems-- and I think for whom those problems most often become conscious.

I think that the ways in which gender roles are problematic for people who do fall into the mainstream are often either not-seen, or seen but not connected to gender roles. Almost all women in America are to some degree nervous about going out alone at night, especially in urban areas; many people see this not as a problem with our expectation of male violence and entitlement, but rather, as a simple fact of the universe and "the way things are."