It takes work to "let things slip off," because it means repressing my first reaction.
That makes sense to me (thank you!), and furthermore at least partially explains why you find such things more tiring than I do. You have that first reaction of feeling rejected and denied, which requires effort to repress; I don't have that reaction in the first place so repressing it doesn't take effort. (When other people react differently than I do, I like understanding why. I'm also very glad that the answer doesn't in any way boil down to "because you're female and I'm not.")
I wonder whether I used to have that reaction? I mean, there are certainly lots of ways in which I don't live up to popular stereotypes of what men are supposed to be like, and there was a time when that bothered me more than it does now.
And if that first reaction weren't there, it would mean I wasn't connected with other people or the world at all...
I wonder whether that is necessary. I'll grant that I am frequently less connected with other people than you might wish to be, but I think I do okay, despite not having that first reaction much.
When I go to kiss someone, all of those images are present in my mind... telling me "UR DOIN IT WRONG."
Yeah, I do that too.
Try kissing someone on stage, for an audience. It's... well, it's an experience.
Also, I think my experience of dating (and kissing) women taller than me did a fair bit to burn this reaction out of me. Because, really, there is no possible way I can look like those images, when I'm kissing a woman who'd be 3-4 inches taller than me even if she weren't wearing heels that make her even taller. And I find it a lot easier to not be bothered by what I can't possibly help, than by what I maybe theoretically somehow could even though really I can't and have no good reason to even try anyway.
Re: Your Mileage May Vary(tm)
That makes sense to me (thank you!), and furthermore at least partially explains why you find such things more tiring than I do. You have that first reaction of feeling rejected and denied, which requires effort to repress; I don't have that reaction in the first place so repressing it doesn't take effort. (When other people react differently than I do, I like understanding why. I'm also very glad that the answer doesn't in any way boil down to "because you're female and I'm not.")
I wonder whether I used to have that reaction? I mean, there are certainly lots of ways in which I don't live up to popular stereotypes of what men are supposed to be like, and there was a time when that bothered me more than it does now.
And if that first reaction weren't there, it would mean I wasn't connected with other people or the world at all...
I wonder whether that is necessary. I'll grant that I am frequently less connected with other people than you might wish to be, but I think I do okay, despite not having that first reaction much.
When I go to kiss someone, all of those images are present in my mind... telling me "UR DOIN IT WRONG."
Yeah, I do that too.
Try kissing someone on stage, for an audience. It's... well, it's an experience.
Also, I think my experience of dating (and kissing) women taller than me did a fair bit to burn this reaction out of me. Because, really, there is no possible way I can look like those images, when I'm kissing a woman who'd be 3-4 inches taller than me even if she weren't wearing heels that make her even taller. And I find it a lot easier to not be bothered by what I can't possibly help, than by what I maybe theoretically somehow could even though really I can't and have no good reason to even try anyway.