Perhaps such that you don't have to do it could also be read as such that you don't have to do it or re-do it for the chore to be usefully completed?
I agree very much with your concerns—it stands to reason that if my nesting partner wants to help with my chore list and sees that one of the items on the list is "unpacking and organizing the spices" and does so... it is only helpful if I, the person who generally cooks, can find all the spices I need when I need them.
The issue is the grey areas (as usual in life), and I think that is where the effort to relax and accept assistance can be most helpful. When I radically accept things as they are Right Now, as I'm sick enough I can't easily cook, it really doesn't matter where NP put the spices. if I need or want to, I can re-organize them when I'm well enough to stand for an hour at a go again.
It doesn't really serve anyone for me to get frustrated/picky/upset that NP does 5 smaller loads of laundry instead of the 3 I'd efficiently optimize for, because the laundry is done. It doesn't serve me to allow the annoyance to grow and then start picking at him simply because he prefers to vacuum the entire tiled kitchen, rather than sweep and also vacuum.
What matters is that he wants to help. What matters is that I, too, can help us both by appreciating his efforts, even if it's not the way I ordinarily would do things, as long as things get done to any standard we can work with.
no subject
I agree very much with your concerns—it stands to reason that if my nesting partner wants to help with my chore list and sees that one of the items on the list is "unpacking and organizing the spices" and does so... it is only helpful if I, the person who generally cooks, can find all the spices I need when I need them.
The issue is the grey areas (as usual in life), and I think that is where the effort to relax and accept assistance can be most helpful. When I radically accept things as they are Right Now, as I'm sick enough I can't easily cook, it really doesn't matter where NP put the spices. if I need or want to, I can re-organize them when I'm well enough to stand for an hour at a go again.
It doesn't really serve anyone for me to get frustrated/picky/upset that NP does 5 smaller loads of laundry instead of the 3 I'd efficiently optimize for, because the laundry is done. It doesn't serve me to allow the annoyance to grow and then start picking at him simply because he prefers to vacuum the entire tiled kitchen, rather than sweep and also vacuum.
What matters is that he wants to help. What matters is that I, too, can help us both by appreciating his efforts, even if it's not the way I ordinarily would do things, as long as things get done to any standard we can work with.