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How to Handle A Plague, 9) New cause, old pain.
9) Don't be surprised if your pain about this takes the same form as your pain about other things.
One of the most upsetting things about this pandemic is that it is so far out of our experience. This hasn't happened since 1918, and this particular this, with the Zoom and the "social distancing" and the being able to hear people's last words half a world away in real time? This has never happened before. And we have no idea how to do it well.
But a thing that I keep noticing, and seems worth pointing out, is that everyone has some fairly familiar ways of being in pain, and those are what we end up with around this. If you hate yourself, you probably spend the plague thinking about how awful you are for not doing more to prevent it, and how badly you're dealing with it. If you're anxious, you're probably terrified right now, of getting sick, of someone you love getting sick, etc. If you're super-driven, you're probably overworking right now. If you normally dissociate, you're, like, fine right now, you guess, but for some weird reason you can't seem to get off the couch?
The problem with this is that your particular pain is really devastating for you, and the horror and uncertainty in the world is probably intensifying it well beyond what you're used to. The advantage of this is that, hopefully, you have developed some coping skills and ways of dealing with your pain.
So... do those things. I mean, everyone should wash their hands and such, but otherwise, treat the pandemic the same way you would normally treat a particularly bad episode of your depression, or your OCD, or your self-doubt. If you don't have any history of mental health issues, ask someone who does for advice.
I don't know why or how exactly our minds get wired to hurt in one or a few particular ways, though there are many many theories. But I do know that this means that even though the pandemic is new and strange, the way you're feeling about it probably isn't. And you probably have some idea of what to do with the way you're feeling, and it is 100% appropriate for you to do that, even if it's not what's right for someone else.
I wish you all good coping.
--R
One of the most upsetting things about this pandemic is that it is so far out of our experience. This hasn't happened since 1918, and this particular this, with the Zoom and the "social distancing" and the being able to hear people's last words half a world away in real time? This has never happened before. And we have no idea how to do it well.
But a thing that I keep noticing, and seems worth pointing out, is that everyone has some fairly familiar ways of being in pain, and those are what we end up with around this. If you hate yourself, you probably spend the plague thinking about how awful you are for not doing more to prevent it, and how badly you're dealing with it. If you're anxious, you're probably terrified right now, of getting sick, of someone you love getting sick, etc. If you're super-driven, you're probably overworking right now. If you normally dissociate, you're, like, fine right now, you guess, but for some weird reason you can't seem to get off the couch?
The problem with this is that your particular pain is really devastating for you, and the horror and uncertainty in the world is probably intensifying it well beyond what you're used to. The advantage of this is that, hopefully, you have developed some coping skills and ways of dealing with your pain.
So... do those things. I mean, everyone should wash their hands and such, but otherwise, treat the pandemic the same way you would normally treat a particularly bad episode of your depression, or your OCD, or your self-doubt. If you don't have any history of mental health issues, ask someone who does for advice.
I don't know why or how exactly our minds get wired to hurt in one or a few particular ways, though there are many many theories. But I do know that this means that even though the pandemic is new and strange, the way you're feeling about it probably isn't. And you probably have some idea of what to do with the way you're feeling, and it is 100% appropriate for you to do that, even if it's not what's right for someone else.
I wish you all good coping.
--R
no subject
I am throwing myself at alternative options, and sometimes just saying "of course you're finding everything harder because X, Y & Z aren't possible right now" helps a bit, at least on the sense-making end of things.
(But it's still rubbish)
no subject
May you find both strength and comfort.