Advice to a Young Therapist

One of my classmates in graduate school did her doctoral project on the process of becoming a therapist. She said that, on average, it takes ten to fifteen years to feel comfortable with yourself and feel like you know what you're doing.

I saw my first client almost eight years ago. By her reckoning, that puts me a good way through the process, but not all the way. Certainly, I feel much more sure of myself than I used to, especially since I got back from Texas. I'm feeling especially pleased because last week, I had my first successful termination; someone who came in months ago with problems, and now feels much better, that we've solved them. We spent a month or so consolidating their gains and what they've learned, and then they went away, and I may never see them again, because they got better. That feels really good, and makes me feel like I'm starting to really know what I'm doing here.

On the other hand, I'm still new enough to remember some of the things I didn't know, starting out, and that a person might like to know. So, here: fourteen things it's useful for a therapist to know.

( 1. The obvious things that everyone says are, for the most part, true. )

( 2. Your clients will remember what they say better than what you say. )

( 3. Make the client do most of the work. )

( 4. Emotions are not dangerous. )

( 5. Your job is not just about helping clients express their emotions. )

( 6. Bring a book. )

( 7. There are more clients out there for you. And more therapists out there for them. )

( 8. Therapy is worth the money. )

( 9. It's okay for your clients to know more than you. )

( 10. Use your WHOLE self, not just the parts of you that you think fit what a good therapist should be like. )

( 11. The repair is more important than never making a mistake. )

( 12. There are many useful things you can do. )

( 13. There are some things you can never fix. )

( 14. You can do this. )