*brain leaks out of ears* That essay is fantastic. But the fics it spawns... just a couple of these lines made me think of stories:
We may speculate that she smells wrong, less like a kryptonian woman than like a terrestrial monkey.
This is one of the best explanations I've ever seen for Superman's lack of sexual interest. Can you imagine him trying to explain this?
A biological ability must be used. As a child Superman may never have known that things had surfaces, until he learned to suppress his X-ray vision.
What a concept! The psychology of this... would be amazing.
(*One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?*)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Um. Right.
Superman must first ejaculate, then fly frantically after the stuff to catch it in a test tube.
Again, I say, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is quite possibly the most ridiculous image of Superman I've ever seen described.
Metropolis is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Wormholes, charred by meteoric heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack lightspeed. The Metropolis night comes alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.
And women whom Superman has never met find themselves in a delicate condition.
WOW. This has got to be an incredible concept for a really embarrassing fic.
Several thousand lawsuits would follow. Not that Superman can't afford to pay. There's a trick where you squeeze a lump of coal into its allotropic diamond form...
Part of me wants to see Superman paying child support for several thousand children.
The mind boggles at the image of a pregnant Superman cruising the skies of Metropolis. Batman would refuse to be seen with him; strange new jokes would circulate the prisons...and the race of Krypton would be safe at last.
I... um. Larry Niven has just written a plausible mpreg. I. Don't quite know what to think of this.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-28 09:02 pm (UTC)That essay is fantastic. But the fics it spawns... just a couple of these lines made me think of stories:
We may speculate that she smells wrong, less like a kryptonian woman than like a terrestrial monkey.
This is one of the best explanations I've ever seen for Superman's lack of sexual interest. Can you imagine him trying to explain this?
A biological ability must be used. As a child Superman may never have known that things had surfaces, until he learned to suppress his X-ray vision.
What a concept! The psychology of this... would be amazing.
(*One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?*)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Um. Right.
Superman must first ejaculate, then fly frantically after the stuff to catch it in a test tube.
Again, I say, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is quite possibly the most ridiculous image of Superman I've ever seen described.
Metropolis is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Wormholes, charred by meteoric heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack lightspeed. The Metropolis night comes alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.
And women whom Superman has never met find themselves in a delicate condition.
WOW. This has got to be an incredible concept for a really embarrassing fic.
Several thousand lawsuits would follow. Not that Superman can't afford to pay. There's a trick where you squeeze a lump of coal into its allotropic diamond form...
Part of me wants to see Superman paying child support for several thousand children.
The mind boggles at the image of a pregnant Superman cruising the skies of Metropolis. Batman would refuse to be seen with him; strange new jokes would circulate the prisons...and the race of Krypton would be safe at last.
I... um. Larry Niven has just written a plausible mpreg. I. Don't quite know what to think of this.
Other than, again, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.