Is it not possible to simply be yourself, without spending effort insisting on it, even if people like you aren't the norm?
No. One of many examples: If you're trans, and you don't put effort during the transition process into convincing other people of who you are, then no one will treat you as you wish to be treated. If you have total confidence in your gender identity, you can ignore them, I guess, though who has that? Plus, if you don't spend effort not only insisting on a gendered identity but insisting on it in a way that people around you are comfortable with, you put yourself at risk for everything from people being a little less friendly to outright violence.
Being able to simply be yourself without spending effort insisting on it is the privilege of those whose identity slides neatly, or at least without too many rough edges, into society. This isn't your fault or anything; it's not like you signed up for the box "Don't have huge gender issues" when you shipped from the factory. :) But no, it is not possible to simply be yourself without spending effort insisting on it, if those around you are insisting you are something else, at least not if you want to be part of society. I've used this example because it's the one I'm most fluent in; while other differences operate differently, a lot of the general arc is the same.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-13 01:23 pm (UTC)No. One of many examples: If you're trans, and you don't put effort during the transition process into convincing other people of who you are, then no one will treat you as you wish to be treated. If you have total confidence in your gender identity, you can ignore them, I guess, though who has that? Plus, if you don't spend effort not only insisting on a gendered identity but insisting on it in a way that people around you are comfortable with, you put yourself at risk for everything from people being a little less friendly to outright violence.
Being able to simply be yourself without spending effort insisting on it is the privilege of those whose identity slides neatly, or at least without too many rough edges, into society. This isn't your fault or anything; it's not like you signed up for the box "Don't have huge gender issues" when you shipped from the factory. :) But no, it is not possible to simply be yourself without spending effort insisting on it, if those around you are insisting you are something else, at least not if you want to be part of society. I've used this example because it's the one I'm most fluent in; while other differences operate differently, a lot of the general arc is the same.