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This is another in the ongoing series of "how to get along with the people you live with, now that you live with them all day every day," : 14) Any chore done by somebody else, such that you don't have to do it, was done correctly.
I am convinced that everyone has their own theory about the Correct Way to load a dishwasher. Which is all very well and good (human diversity and all), but can lead to so many arguments, many of which start when somebody tries to instruct someone else how to do it "properly," or when someone notices somebody else somewhat pointedly rearranging the dishes they had only just loaded.
The thing is, it does make sense to me that people have strong feelings. Especially if you're the person in your house who does most of the chores (assuming you're in a house where one person does the bulk of the chores), you can start to feel quite territorial about them. People assigned female at birth in particular often got raised to see the kitchen as theirs, and were encouraged to see anyone younger or more y-chromosomed as "hopeless in the kitchen." Even if that's not where you're coming from, there's a real sense of control that can come from knowing exactly how you prefer to do housekeeping, what method you find most efficient and effective and least painful, and a satisfaction to seeing your work done.
The thing is, though, that I feel like a lot of the time, this territoriality is the emotional compensation for how annoying and tiring it is to have to do a lot of chores. If you're the only one working, it's some solace to think that you're the only one who can do it, or at least, the only one who can do it well, because otherwise, you will start getting very resentful very quickly.
And when everyone is home all the time, the people who are more often out working are likely to notice that there's a lot to do around here, and (especially if they're not working for money at all) that they could do some more of it. Or, if people are living together for the pandemic who don't normally, the newcomer to the household is likely to want to fit themself into the household, and doing chores is a great way to do that.
At which point, the person who normally does most of the chores has two options. One is to insist that everyone else is doing it Wrong, and try to instruct them, and this is likely to lead to fights, and to everyone else being discouraged, and doing it less, and a new source of stress added to the general pandemic woes.
The other option, and the one I wholeheartedly recommend, is to realize that all roads lead to Rome, and all ways of loading the dishwasher lead to clean dishes. I mean, if someone does something that actually breaks all the china or leads to grievous injuries, then sure, say something about that. But for the most part, the more you can let go of the correct direction to sweep the floor, the most perfect removal of stains from the recycling, or the ideal timing of taking out the trash, the happier everyone will be.
--R
I am convinced that everyone has their own theory about the Correct Way to load a dishwasher. Which is all very well and good (human diversity and all), but can lead to so many arguments, many of which start when somebody tries to instruct someone else how to do it "properly," or when someone notices somebody else somewhat pointedly rearranging the dishes they had only just loaded.
The thing is, it does make sense to me that people have strong feelings. Especially if you're the person in your house who does most of the chores (assuming you're in a house where one person does the bulk of the chores), you can start to feel quite territorial about them. People assigned female at birth in particular often got raised to see the kitchen as theirs, and were encouraged to see anyone younger or more y-chromosomed as "hopeless in the kitchen." Even if that's not where you're coming from, there's a real sense of control that can come from knowing exactly how you prefer to do housekeeping, what method you find most efficient and effective and least painful, and a satisfaction to seeing your work done.
The thing is, though, that I feel like a lot of the time, this territoriality is the emotional compensation for how annoying and tiring it is to have to do a lot of chores. If you're the only one working, it's some solace to think that you're the only one who can do it, or at least, the only one who can do it well, because otherwise, you will start getting very resentful very quickly.
And when everyone is home all the time, the people who are more often out working are likely to notice that there's a lot to do around here, and (especially if they're not working for money at all) that they could do some more of it. Or, if people are living together for the pandemic who don't normally, the newcomer to the household is likely to want to fit themself into the household, and doing chores is a great way to do that.
At which point, the person who normally does most of the chores has two options. One is to insist that everyone else is doing it Wrong, and try to instruct them, and this is likely to lead to fights, and to everyone else being discouraged, and doing it less, and a new source of stress added to the general pandemic woes.
The other option, and the one I wholeheartedly recommend, is to realize that all roads lead to Rome, and all ways of loading the dishwasher lead to clean dishes. I mean, if someone does something that actually breaks all the china or leads to grievous injuries, then sure, say something about that. But for the most part, the more you can let go of the correct direction to sweep the floor, the most perfect removal of stains from the recycling, or the ideal timing of taking out the trash, the happier everyone will be.
--R
