![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gaudior5) Remember the difference between being safe and feeling safe.
Humans have enormous brains. This is on the one hand very helpful, because it lets us learn so much about the world! But it is also a problem, because it lets us learn so much about the world. And the world, as it turns out, is incredibly dangerous, and will inevitably kill us all.
This is something I most often talk about with people dealing with anxiety and PTSD. Our minds try very hard to keep us safe by spotting possible dangers, and if we only knew what we saw and heard around us, with maybe the knowledge of our parents and a generation or two before them, they'd do a great job. They'd notice dangerous animals and people, poisonous plants, threatening weather, unstable terrain, and we would be afraid of these things and avoid them, and be safer. We'd come across a real threat occasionally, and react accordingly, and go about the rest of our lives eating and sleeping and relaxing and so forth.
And the relaxing when we weren't observing an actual threat would be very important, because our bodies don't function well without relaxing. We need time when we're relaxed for our immune systems to heal our injuries, for our food to digest, for us to sleep enough to grow and have energy. We need time when we're relaxed to bond with the people around us, to think deep thoughts, to play. Our bodies are designed to react quickly and decisively to danger, and refresh and recalibrate when the danger is not present.
But there are many more dangers than we can see and hear and smell. Everyone is always in the situation where we could die instantly, if for no other reason than because a meteor could smash through the ceiling and kill us. There are so many accidents, so many people with deadly weapons, so many toxins in the food, so many diseases. So very, very many diseases.
So what I'll tell people is: look, when you feel anxious, your instincts tell you to look for danger, and your brain can always find something. We just know too much about the world for that not to be the case. There is always something that could happen, and the fact that it's very unlikely doesn't change the fact that you could be the one unlucky chance. You're right. You are in danger.
But you need to make your body think you're not. Because if your body thinks you're in danger, it will surge with adrenaline, and that is not a sustainable way to be all the time, and you will get physically sick. And also, you will be miserable.
So what you need to do is find ways to physically persuade your body to relax, because not relaxing is harmful, just like the things you're afraid of. You need to take deep breaths, or warm baths, or anti-anxiety medication, or some combination of those things. You need to surround yourself with things that make your hindbrain feel safe, whether those are stuffed animals or calm music or people who love you or enough locks on the door that you can actually relax. You need to notice the tension in your shoulders, and stretch them. You need to yawn, and then smile, whether or not you feel like doing those things. You need to go to the bathroom when you need it. You need to tell yourself that you are safe enough-- not 100% safe, but safe enough to relax. You need to notice all the ways your body is preparing for danger, and find ways to tell it to stand down.
I think you can probably figure out how to apply all this to the current situation. :)
Have a relaxing evening, all.
--R
Humans have enormous brains. This is on the one hand very helpful, because it lets us learn so much about the world! But it is also a problem, because it lets us learn so much about the world. And the world, as it turns out, is incredibly dangerous, and will inevitably kill us all.
This is something I most often talk about with people dealing with anxiety and PTSD. Our minds try very hard to keep us safe by spotting possible dangers, and if we only knew what we saw and heard around us, with maybe the knowledge of our parents and a generation or two before them, they'd do a great job. They'd notice dangerous animals and people, poisonous plants, threatening weather, unstable terrain, and we would be afraid of these things and avoid them, and be safer. We'd come across a real threat occasionally, and react accordingly, and go about the rest of our lives eating and sleeping and relaxing and so forth.
And the relaxing when we weren't observing an actual threat would be very important, because our bodies don't function well without relaxing. We need time when we're relaxed for our immune systems to heal our injuries, for our food to digest, for us to sleep enough to grow and have energy. We need time when we're relaxed to bond with the people around us, to think deep thoughts, to play. Our bodies are designed to react quickly and decisively to danger, and refresh and recalibrate when the danger is not present.
But there are many more dangers than we can see and hear and smell. Everyone is always in the situation where we could die instantly, if for no other reason than because a meteor could smash through the ceiling and kill us. There are so many accidents, so many people with deadly weapons, so many toxins in the food, so many diseases. So very, very many diseases.
So what I'll tell people is: look, when you feel anxious, your instincts tell you to look for danger, and your brain can always find something. We just know too much about the world for that not to be the case. There is always something that could happen, and the fact that it's very unlikely doesn't change the fact that you could be the one unlucky chance. You're right. You are in danger.
But you need to make your body think you're not. Because if your body thinks you're in danger, it will surge with adrenaline, and that is not a sustainable way to be all the time, and you will get physically sick. And also, you will be miserable.
So what you need to do is find ways to physically persuade your body to relax, because not relaxing is harmful, just like the things you're afraid of. You need to take deep breaths, or warm baths, or anti-anxiety medication, or some combination of those things. You need to surround yourself with things that make your hindbrain feel safe, whether those are stuffed animals or calm music or people who love you or enough locks on the door that you can actually relax. You need to notice the tension in your shoulders, and stretch them. You need to yawn, and then smile, whether or not you feel like doing those things. You need to go to the bathroom when you need it. You need to tell yourself that you are safe enough-- not 100% safe, but safe enough to relax. You need to notice all the ways your body is preparing for danger, and find ways to tell it to stand down.
I think you can probably figure out how to apply all this to the current situation. :)
Have a relaxing evening, all.
--R
(no subject)
Date: 2020-04-01 12:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-04-01 01:28 am (UTC)It feels like my PTSD is shredding my brain right now. "Safe enough" is such a hard concept!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-04-01 04:44 pm (UTC)To this entry, I would also add: in order to prepare ourselves to relax, it is essential to remove anxiety-provoking things from our environment insofar as we can, while substiting in positive coping mechanisms if possible. Toxic relationships, excess self-medicating (caffeine, alcohol, cannabis, eating, etc), negative thought patterns—these are all things which made any amount of relaxation impossible for me for a very long time.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-04-01 05:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-04-05 08:31 am (UTC)Thank you!